Why We Fight

So you have found us... Good. This is for the common folk. the people who like going to a good restaurant and getting a good meal and good service. We are the good patrons, We don't bitch and We don't moan. We expect good service and aren't rich, so We tip well. We have worked in restaurants in our storied pasts and understand the job.. We see the bad patrons and loathe them, sometimes out loud and within earshot... We are usually quiet but in bigger groups can get a little -how do you say- unruly. If your service is terrible We'll still give you a good tip. Often this is to spite you. If you are an ecxellent server, We'll undoubtedly hook you up. Join us.

R.F. O'Sullivans

okay, here's the situation. the best damn burger in the whole fucking nation and, they left the meat on the grill so long. do i mind? mmmmmm, well, of course not.

that was neat what i just did there.

if i actually wanted to get married and settle down, buy a house, have kids, meet neighbors, go to parades, shop for school clothes at the mall, visit in-laws, make financial decisions with a partner, and learn to compromise, i would do it with a Burger from R.F. O'Sullivans. i would sing it to sleep every night and rub it's back. i would remember every anniversary and b-day. and i would let it's mother stay at our place when she got old and retarded. i would also tell my darling little burger, every day, that it was the most beautiful thing i'd ever laid eyes on, and would never forget the day we met.


ahhhhh, the deep, horny satisfaction of knowing you never have to look anywhere else for the rest of your life. for ground chuck.


now, i know this place gets thumb dings and high fives shoved up it's ass on a regular basis, and i'm not usually one to be a bandwagon jumper and join the crowd, but R.F. O'Sullivans burgers are off the fucking chain. you simply cannot beat what they do. and i know there are some John McClane's out there who will vehemently defend Bartley's as the pinnacle of the patty, but fuck that. if it was a foot race, O'Sullivan's is already sliding it's 1st place trophy in and out of some whore's ass in the back of a limo, and Bartley's is still breaking wind with it's junk hanging out of it's shorts at the starting line. Tough break, Bartley's, but i'll give you a nod for the junk.


in fairness, i'll paint the negatives for ya. it's small, so if you're heading out during prime time, expect a line. and the beer selection seems like an afterthought, so keep it business.


they'll have the game on. the staff is way friendly, although that one bartender dude creeped me out (but i think i was just way too baked on that one). they're not afraid to improv a dish or drink if you ask them (whatever the fuck that means, even though i wrote it), and all the food's made in plain view right behind the bar. nothing to hide, which speaks volumes.


oh and the "french fries" are really potatos cut into like 6 pieces and served stupid hot. more like roided up steak fries, and almost a meal all by themsleves. imagine potato skins not made into potato skins, if you will. and don't call me shirley.



i've gone about 8 times now over the last year, and i got a full on bone-rod for this place. join me, jackson.


RF O'Sullivan's
282 Beacon Street, Somerville, MA 02143
(617) 492-7773

I SMELL ICE CREAM!!!

What kind of complete waste of flesh does not like ice cream. Being lactose intolerant is fine, you have my deepest sympathy. But if you are a functioning normal human being and you don't like ice cream...well...i don't like you, in fact i just might DISlike you.
Cabots in newton pretty much looks like a diner but bigger. Bigger than a diner, smaller than a friendlys or one of those dumb places. They offer a variety of appetizers,burgers,sandwiches, and even omlettes! But their giant ice cream selection is their strongest point.
Service is completely mediocre, not bad at all, but the servers were kinda stand off-ish...pussies.
The apps aren't anything to brag about, the typical shit you could pretty much buy at a store and throw it in the oven for 20 minutes and call it a night. However the nachos are pretty dece. Nachos rule.
Hmmm...what to get for the meal...Grilled rueben,baked mac and cheese,sheppards pie...burger varieties out the ying yang.
ALL AMERICAN GRILLED CHEESE. Just the name of the dish grabs you by the nuts and slaps you in the face yelling "eat me ya prick!"
So i order that.
"Hey Patches Pinner Kowalski, what the h is an all american grilled cheese?" you might be asking, and im glad to answer.
It is a grilled cheese sandwich, grilled to perfect with yellow cheddar cheese...with....a....fucking...burger...cooked...right...in...the...middle...of...that...fucker...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!?! WHY HAS THIS NOT BEEN DONE BEFORE!?!?
My only regret with this burger is not asking for some bacon with it. That would've been fucking incredible!
So ok, so far we got
Service=meh
app=meh
FUCKING ALL AMERICAN GRILLED CHEESE= calling this anything less than fucking awesome makes you a dummy.

Ok....dessert...i cant even begin to describe how many different options,flavors,toppings,all that shit you have to choose from. So, I'll just stick to the one I got that t0ta11y r0013d.
S'mores sundae.
Hmmm how do u make a smores sundae?
Well you take a sundae dish, line that fucker(i mean like a half an inch worth) with hot fudge,take graham cracker crumbs and cover the now hot fudge lined glass with it. Already this sombitch is great. Couple two-tree scoops of vanilla ice cream, followed by more hot fudge and more graham crackers,and cover that with some fuckin marshmellow...are you joking me.

Pretty Much all i can say about cabots is...do it...the only downfall is its in newton and they like give dirty looks to people just because they have a pantera shirt on and might "resemble" a skinhead...whatta buncha cunts.

But yeah check it out. That smores sundae is like an authentic smore like when you used to go camping, but instead of the wierd uncle you have to share a tent with,its got ice cream! YAY!

Cabots Ice Cream and Restaurant
743 Washington Street
Newtonville MA 02460

Rock over london, rock on chicago.

Carnies, Lions, and Beers.. oh my..


Went to The Big E couple weeks ago for the first time. For those that know, saying it is enough. For those that have never been it's a huge fair in West Springfield that runs for like 3 weeks or so... The only thing that could have made The Big E more deliciously white trash is if they handed out plug tobacco and varmint guns at the gates. Obviously i was in my element.


The highlight if you will is the food there. That's why i went. Here's a list of what i ate and drank. Now keep in mind, another friend of mine attended, she's more of a veteran of the Big E then myself and her list blew mine away even tho i think i did good:

1. corn dog - 11am perfect time for a corn dog
2. 2 big handfuls of fresh, warm kettle corn
3. 20 oz. Sam Adams Summer -- "Do you like beer? Try my new Saaaaaaaaaaaam Aaaaaaaaaaaaaadams"
4. about 1/3 of a massive baked potato covered in butter, sour cream, chives, cheese and topped with really good BBQ pulled pork
5. Strawberry Shortcake bowl... real short bread fresh strawberries and whipped cream... yup
6. 20 oz. Bud Light -- mmm yummy cop beer
7. 20 oz. Bud -- yummy rummy beer
8. several "petals" of a gigantic Bloomin' Onion... (ya know they take an onion, chop it so it looks like a flower, and throw batter at it and fry it in lard) dipped in Ranch dressing
9. 20 oz. Spaten Lager -- this was really fucking good
10. The Whole Reason I Went: DEEP FRIED OREOS... there are no words.. i talked to them as if they were my lover.
11. Funnel Cake - good but over shadowed by DEEP FRIED OREOS for chrissakes
12. absolutely amazing Beignets covered in praline pecans and caramel sauce
13. An 11-dollar Mojito -- priciest thing there but it was all vodka and in a pint glass.. i enjoyed it
14. Pot Roast Sundae -- oh yeah.. this thing was like a dream come true for a young NDF.... first they get a bowl, throw in some mashed taters, toss some corn on top of that.. then heap an assload of really really yummy pot roast on that bad larry and top it off with a cherry tomato
15. a huge bite of a empanada from the "latin food" cart which was full of what looked to be like the west springfield elks club of retired old white people that didn't speak a lick of spanish.
16. a huge Big E Eclair on the ride home.

again my list is small compared to others in our expedition. Aside from the food, My friend Dora the Explorer got a 20 dollar pair of sweet sneakers and i bought a new leather wallet of a Mexican dood for 12 bucks.. The Big E rules.. and i'll be back next year for a new backwards hat kid pissing on a yankees logo sticker for my ford f-850 to fit right between the roll bars and the gun rack.
Eastern States Exposition
1305 Memorial Avenue (Rte. 147)
West Springfield, Mass.

Frank's Steakhouse, a peek behind the clever name

Frank's steakhouse in North Cambridge. Even writing those words leaves a good taste in my mouth. Myself and one Ninja Death Fork have gone there I'd say close to ten times now, and honestly each time is better than the last. If you are looking for fucking awesome pieces of cooked red meat, good service, and a few beers for a completely reasonable price, then turn off the Colbert report (quoting Steve Colbert doesn't make you smart you fucking clown) get in your car and get the fuck to franks in north Cambridge now. I'll give ya the virtual experience.
NDF (ninja death fork) and i walk on in the this lovely establishment. The hostess is not at her station at the moment, but alas this is not a bad thing by any means! Because now we have the chance to appreciate the decor. Walls covered in pictures of local celebrities...Holy Shit! Is that an autographed picture of Lyndon Byers of the Boston Bruins? NICE! And Lenny Clark! HAHA! Man that dudes funny as hell! Take time to appreciate the wood panelling, it looks fucking righteous. Oh nice we can sit anywhere? Table at the bar for 2 plz! KTHNX!
Wow that bar set up is great. It looks like a bar setup on a cruise ship or something...fuckin a. TV's everywhere playing different sporting events. This is the type of place you can get dressed to the 9's and go there with a date. Or just throw on some jeans with your bff (Mine=Ninja death Fork of course!) and appreciate the finer things. The Italian dudes next to us,no lie, are all wearing sweatpants. Shit, one of them as a shirt with a six pack of brews on his stomach that says 'six pack abs' HOLY SHIT where do u find this stuff??
I wonder if anyone ever plays that piano in corner?
Should i play keno?
The fact that i CAN play keno at a steak house probably means i should.
Ok so we order 2 Budweiser's, and i cant wait, a nice cold Budweiser with steak is just what the doct....what the...She brought us fucking frosted glasses! SO GOOD! Nothing like a fucking ice cold bud huh guys?
Appetizers. Pretty standard appetizer selection. Everything from a basket of garlic bread, to buffalo wings, to nachos, to shrimp cocktail. We were thinking potato skins...but that onion ring loaf sounds far too enticing, we'll grab that. Our server notices our glasses are just less than half full. She brings us 2 fresh buds without having to ask if we needed any and proceeds to take our order. They have the usual burger,chicken,soup,and salad selection. But we came for the goods. Steaks. Imagine a world without steak? FUCK THAT WORLD KHED!
For steaks they have a good enough selection to keep you scratching your head as to what to get this time. I go with the FRANK'S FAMOUS NY SIZZLER SIRLOIN 14 OZ. Boneless, Served 'Smokin' on A Cast Iron Skillet. Now i usually get my steak medium rare, but since this comes out STILL FUCKING COOKING ON A CAST IRON SKILLET! (AMAZING!) I'll order it rare. NDF orders the King Cut Prime rib. Nice one bro!
I give our appetizer,the onion loaf, a B-. Its a pretty cool idea. They just take the onion rings in cook them in a loaf pan so it comes out all loafy. Pretty good but the rings are a bit too soggy...but still good.
Holy fuck this steak is awesome. You remember what getting your first blowj was like? So good. Thats what it tastes like. Imagine you are in a constant state of getting a sweet blowj for the first time,boobs in your face, and you are watching the fight between Rocky Balboa and that commie prick Ivan Drago. If you could somehow scientifically transfer the amazingness of that scenario to a food item, it would most likely be the steak I'm eating now.
In closing.
Place rules. Its that simple. Awesome service, our beer glasses were never empty at any point of the night, food came out piping hot,place looks cool as hell,and the food is fucking awesome.
For a good night out i recommend calling your lady, your buddy, or go by yourself! Frank's Steakhouse, gets some brews, gets some tater skins, get the fucking Franks Famous Sizzler, and call it a night.
You will not be let down.
Place rules.
Pinner Out!

Frank's Steakhouse
2310 Mass Ave.
Cambridge, Mass

The Village Idiot

The Village Smokehose, in Brookline village, SUX!!!! They used to rule. their briskett was so tit with mashed taters and cornbread and shit. now they got these bullshit powder pre-made mashed potatoes just add water or whaterver the fuck, and their service is revolting. the place was at about 20% capacity, and bitchface took 10 minutes to bring my beer, with no lemon, which i specifically asked for. and then i ask for a lemon (again) and she's like, "omg did you already ask me that? saaaawwwry! smileyface smileyface smileyface! teehee!" and then it takes 10 more minutes to get my lemon. so then she has to say "omg did you already ask me that?" like 3 more times. if you're just gonna hire T & A for your servers, make sure they're happy to be there. i was there with my buddy dave slater on like a man date men united 4 meat, right? and this shit drags on an on, so we left her $1 each for a tip. i tip huge, even when the service sucks, as long as they're trying, because i appreciate anyone bringing me food and alcohol. but this was above and beyond shatty. my god, people, get your act together. and while i'm on it, your little motto is retarded. Coke was actually "Coke" before it was a cola, and people been smokin them karate stix since before any juke joints came around, or any "joints", for that matter. "i wish the Village Smokehouse still had unbelievably kickass food and the service was good". my only explanation is they just don't want younger people coming in to drink beers and then spilling out into the pristine tranquil neighborhoods of uppity Brookline, so they treat us like caca poopoo. well yet again, and perhaps for the final time, FUCK YOU BROOKLINE!
The Village Smokehouse
1 Harvard Street
Brookline Village, MA. 02445

The Border Cafe - weavers of rainbows and dream clouds


Oh boy, just where the in the fuck do I begin expressing my love for The Border. The only thing that could possibly even come close to matching the Awesome that is this restaurant would be getting a blowjob.


By a mermaid.

On top of a mountain made of rock candy.

In a gingerbread mansion.

Next to a gentle sloping meadow where flocks of unicorns and pandas play-wrestle in a field of red licorice.

and in the sky was a rainbow made out of slurpees.

and jets flew by dropping dollar bills overhead.

near a stage where Cliff Burton perpetually played Anesthesia/Pulling Teeth.

by a guild of Elves whose only job was to brew beer.

and also to water the pepperoni pizza tree next to your mansion.


It's still a tough call. You can be in the shittiest mood EVER and you'll walk out of this place glowing and literally satisfied for 48 hrs. I mean the first thing that happens after you sit down is they drop a basket of Hot Fresh Tortilla chips and a ramekin of delicious salsa at your table while taking your drink order.

I REPEAT:

THEY FUCKING DROP A BASKET OF FUCKING HOT FRESH TORTILLA CHIPS AND FUCKING DELICIOUS SALSA OFF AT YOUR FUCKING TABLE BEFORE ANY FUCKING ORDERING EVEN FUCKING OCCURS.

Let's see where was I, oh right, Drink order.
Ya like the margaritas? Let me rephrase that..
If you don't like margaritas please find the nearest chef's knife, hold the pointy end towards your chest and fall down on it. Because you don't get living.

I think by this point I have tried them all (besides frozen, cause fuck that) and there are some excellent ones.. the Texas Margarita for instance.. the Tradicional is another.. but for my money I think my favorite is still the House Margarita (on the rocks with salt of course). There's just something about it that resonates with me.. amazing drinkablity and thirst quenching ability perhaps...

They also have good Mexican beer and soda pop for all you knife-wielders.


OH WAIT.. gotta rewind a second...


Decor..

As you may have already guessed I run a little towards white-trash. No it's ok, I rather embrace it... this place does have the look and feel of a New Orleans style Cajun roadhouse.. murals of old Wild West gunslingers and string lights adorn the walls, old worn huge plank hardwood floors, and simple well-worn mission style chairs and tables... it's a good room.. and the basement room is more of the same... waiters all wear white chef-coats and black pants.. they look classy for the room and it works... dress is come as you are.. they don't give a shit.

Kay back to Eats... the menu is just about half Cajun style dishes and half Mexican/Tex Mex style stuff.. I'm a huge Mexican Food fan so that's where I spend most of my time...

some of my favorites:

Cadillac Fajitas - What would make fajitas so much better? If we used Filet Mignon as the beef instead of flank steak. Oh yeah, fuck you.

Enchiladas (Chicken) - I get lots of this on my shirt.

Burros (Beef) - Yeah on the shirt too.

Chicken Guadalajara and Chicken Waco - basically 2 Mexican takes on baked stuffed chicken.. chicken fucking orgasm.. they're both slathered in cheese stuffed w/ spinach and poblano peppers etc... oh yeah.. fuckin cornbread bitch.

French Quarter Chicken - Oh hey Ninja Death Fork look what we made you.. its a HUGE chicken breast pounded out and amazingly breaded and fried then covered w/ a tangy lemon pepper sauce that may or may not contain the tears of angels and all of the hope of a newborn infant baby! Hope you like it you Fat Bastard!

The staff is attentive and quick.. most servers there are kickass or border on kickass and they have there wait system down to a science.. full bar too..


In Summation:
THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING RESTAURANT EVER.
The Border Cafe
32 Church St. (Harvard Square)
Cambridge, Mass.